Anyway, I started a new job on Monday. I'm really trying to practice gratitude and graciousness (the difference in those two? no idea). I have been blessed in so many ways. Not to sound cliche and corny but I really do think everything happens for a reason. Or more importantly, the choices we make, good and bad, lead us to the path God has chosen for us. Sometimes it takes a little longer than we thought and sometimes we think we are on the right path because we refuse to surrender long enough to see what is right and what is right in front of us. The job is wonderful so far. I'm now working in Dallas and feel like I finally jumped off the hamster wheel that had become such a huge part of my life. Which is ironic considering how much I hate exercise. One bad thing: I was previously working a job which had me in shorts and t-shirts and tennis shoes most days. Now that I'm in a more professional work environment, I've worn heels three days in row (counting church on Sunday) and seriously? My feet hurt. I'm a flats kinda girl. I love the way heels look...but ouch! I'm guessing it doesn't help that my shoes primarily come from Payless, Target and the likes. Can't you tell I'm practicing gratitude? I've highlighted this entire paragraph about four times because I do not really know the point of these words I've strung together in some sort of semi-sentence-like structure. But maybe I'll save some sweet girl from buying cheap yet cute shoes and living in foot agony for a couple of days.
On to more serious issues. I've been thinking about addiction a lot lately. I'm well-read and "therapized" on the subject but I've been struggling with a deeper understanding. I'm the daughter of a recovering alcoholic, the granddaughter of a recovering alcoholic, the niece of two recovering alcoholics and many other people in my life have struggled with alcoholism or addiction in some way. I think addiction is still such a misunderstood disease. There is such blame and shame and guilt that even when the decision is made to admit to a problem, the repercussions of past behavior make it an even larger mountain to climb. I think everyone, addict or not, should read the Twelve Steps, Traditions and Promises. You can find them here. My father recently celebrated his "birthday" at Alcoholics Anonymous. He is ten years sober and I'm so proud of him. Ten years may not seem like a long time to some, but it's ten very precious years to my family and me. Ten years to finally get to know a man I never really knew. I'm so very grateful (see how I incorporated my gratitude theme?) for the people in my life who have made the choice to better themselves, therefore bettering the lives of all who love them. Addiction is a family disease, it attaches and grabs on and makes everyone sick. But, little by little the wounds heal and you see hope. I'm not a doctor or a therapist. I don't pretend to understand why people do the things they do. Why some people get help and why some people continue to live a self-destructing lifestyle. What I am is someone who has seen what I truly believe to be miracles. Someone who is loyal and tries to love unconditionally. Someone who knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, if I were to find myself struggling with anything, I have a multitude of people to reach out to. And for that? I am truly very grateful, full of gratitude, thankful, obliged...etc.
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